Jeyanth Joshua Goringe

Jeyanth may sleep, but his parents may not

What is the point of your baby sleeping through the night when his parents lie awake, expecting to hear him wake up at any moment?

Colic

Of course, as most parents will know, six weeks also means "Colic". Jeyanth is certainly firmly in that majority of babies who have the arsenic hour, the 'unsettled baby'.

OK, "hour" is generous. Jeyanth's normal pattern at the moment is to scream unconsolably for two or three hours between about 6pm and midnight, pausing only if fed, or for a few ten or fifteen minute naps to regain strength for another good scream.

In the process I've found out a couple of things. Firstly, that I was prepared for sleepless nights, for dirty nappies, for being vomitted on - but I wasn't prepared for the sheer helplessness of not being able to do anything to comfort him. And secondly that I'm not as patient as I thought I was...

I guess we can just be glad he screams before midnight, not after. And that colic is only supposed to last until three months (or six at the outside).

6 week check-up

We went to the paediatrician (I challenge any non-parent to spell that!) on wedneday for Jeyanth's 6wk check-up. He is fine and progressing well (except for cradle-cap on his ears!! - apparently harmless and will go away on its own when his sebaceous glands settle down). He now weighs in at 4.6kg and is 58cm long. He can follow objects moved across his face, but only if he darn well pleases, and is starting to make sounds which can reasonably classified as non-bawling by neutral third parties.

More photos

Two new sets of photos up on the main website:

On the playmat
Ammamma and Thaatha

Time flies

If I had a dollar for every time someone says 'enjoy every minute, he'll grow up in no time', Jeyanth would have a healthy college fund. This morning however, I had a real 'time flies' moment, which made me realise how true this well worn statement is.

I was holding a hungry wriggling little bundle in my arms, and trying very hard to extract a tiny fist from a tiny mouth, get a bib under a chin and insert a bottle into a mouth determinedly nuzzling everything else. It occured to me that this feisty little thing flailing its newly discovered limbs and writhing and twisting in its determination to get what it wanted, had been just 4 weeks ago, a completely different baby.

Four weeks ago, he could barely stay awake for a feed, refused to unfurl his limbs from the fetal position, couldn't focus his eyes, and holding him tight against your body would make him curl into you and fall asleep.

Now he can stay awake for upto half an hour after a feed, can focus on your face and gaze into your eyes(!), can amuse himself for a while lying on a mat looking out of the french window (at two dogs who sit on the other side and look at him with equal incomprehension), and can follow a toy he's looking at if its moved across his face. What's more, he's worked out that he can move his own body, so you're just as likely to get a squirming wriggling bundle that kicks and punches you with tiny arms and legs when you try to cuddle it, as you are of getting a cute, relaxed and peaceful baby.

Aaah! My boy is growing up.

Strange spike in our statistics

It would appear that goringe.net has suddenly become a lot more popular...

Second data point..

He slept through his mid-night feed again.

He did have a series of monster-feeds leading up to it, and he was _particularly_ difficult to put down. We were 'settling' him from about 10.30pm to midnight, which means quietening deafening screams and changing a ridiculous number of nappies. BUT - he slept through till 5.30am this morning :).

Failure...

A couple of days ago, after much agonising and hesitation, we decided that we would abandon our efforts to breastfeed Jeyanth.

Three weeks ago I would not have believed anyone who told me how much pain, frustration, disappointment and guilt can be associated with such a decision, even when every rational argument that can be marshalled indicates that it is the right decision.

The knowledge that you cannot give your child what you know to be the 'best' for him, is very hard to live with.

Jeyanth had to be bottle fed for the first week of his little life, because he was a hungry little lad, and recovery from an emergency caesarian delayed my lactation by several days. Bottles are much easier to drink from, and Jeyanth just hasn't been able to make the transition, despite our efforts over the last 3 weeks. He just hasn't been able to learn to suck effectively, and basically never seems to get enough despite how long he nurses.

So, after what feels like an eternity of days with a perpetually hungry and grizzly baby and nursing periods that lasted for hours, we've decided to throw in the towel. Over this week, Jeyanth will transition to almost complete diet of formula as my milk peters out.

We are already rewarded with a happy gurgling baby, who has little trouble settling to naps, who actually seems to enjoy feeding time, and is capable of having a happy and relaxed post-feed wake time. He is gaining weight and growing well and seems to be very happy with the new regime.

I however, I'm still wracked by guilt. I seem to be surrounded by successfully breastfeeding mothers and brochures that lyricise the thousand virtues of breastmilk, all reminding me of my inadequacy. I constantly feel the need to explain and justify bottle feeding to every friend and relative who comes to visit or asks about Jeyanth. "No, no, I _do_ love him, really!"

Of course, if anyone so much as sneezes on my anti-body deprived son, I shall kill them instantly!

One data point...

...certainly does not make a trend. As if to prove it, Jeyanth decided to have his worst night yet - up and screaming every couple of hours all night.

So, somewhere between these two nights lies some sort of mean, right?

One Data Point...

...does not make a trend. But Jeyanth slept through the night for the first time last night. This is a good thing.